Fantavision

Monday, September 8, 2003 » gaming thought

For the longest time I have blindly made fun of Fantavision, partly for being one of the PS2's overwhelmingly underwhelming launch titles, but mainly for being centered around blowing up fireworks. I watched it on the shelf at Electronics Boutique, as the price slowly dwindled from $30, to $20, down to $12, and vowed I would finally try it out the day it hit $10.

That day was today (although I actually mean yesterday). Ken and I made the trip down to Biggest Gamespot Ever so he could pick up Soul Calibur II (more on that another time), and there it was: Fantavision, brand new, for $9.99. I procured my copy.

About half an hour later, I thought only one thing: My past jabs were definitely well-deserved. Fantavision is terrible.

Maybe, with a little refinement, the gameplay itself could be salvaged, although it is a bit unwieldy for a puzzle game. (Puzzle games should not depend on the analog stick.) The thing that ruins Fantavision for me, though, is the audio. In fact, it's not even so much the obnoxious, sugar-techno songs that overwhelm the menu screens, or the elevator-style muzak during the game (which is, thankfully, ignorable). It's mostly the announcer that I can't stand. It's hard to describe the voice exactly; the best I can do is like a combination of one of those 50s scientist announcers you hear whenever some dumb TV commercial is getting its retro on, and the recorded voice that reminds you to keep your heads and arms inside the vehicle at Disneyland. Yeah, it's annoying. As if it wasn't enough to have it welcome me to each game and invite me back at the end, it also thoughtfully counts off the number of "chains" made during play. (This would be sort of like if an annoying voice told you how many lines you just eliminated in Tetris.) It's enough to provide incentive not to lose, but also not to return.

Oh, and I didn't even mention the intro movie, which is the most godawful and gratuitous live-action FMV ever, featuring a Leave It to Beaver-esque family gathering around the ol' PS2 to play some Fantavision. It's like playing a bloody 3DO game.

On the plus side, I now have something for whenever EB does its next trade-in deal.