MALL APOCALYPSE

Thursday, December 22, 2005 » general

So earlier this evening I went to the Westfield Valley Fair mall to look at some of the Christmas items. I've been there a couple times, but I must have taken a different entrance before because I never realized how absolutely colossal that mall is until tonight. It probably took ten minutes just to walk from the parking lot to the food court. Every time I turned a corner I would peer off into the distance in search of neon food stand signs, but to no avail. Then, when I finally got there, I recognized the part of the mall I had seen in previous visits sprawling off into the distance on the opposite end. BIG.

Probably the most telltale sign that a mall is gratuitously large is that they have five different maternity clothing stores. That's like, "Hey, honey, this afternoon we'll swing by the mall and pick up a new blouse. And if they don't have one you like, we'll just try one of the four other stores. Without leaving the mall."